You Idiot
by Feral Phoenix
Summary: Nessiah knows that sometimes there's a price to pay if you try to play fair. If only Gulcasa would figure that out, then things like this wouldn't happen anymore. [onesided GxN, some Nessiah spoilers]


You Idiot

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yggdra Union, but I wish I at least owned Roswell, Gulcasa, and Nessiah. Since I don't, I am reduced to borrowing them for fanfiction. I'll put 'em back when I'm done, I promise!!

Despite the cheer that erupted through the gathered forces as Gulcasa emerged at the highest parapet of Castle Paltina, raising his bloody scythe high in a gesture of victory, I could tell that something wasn't quite right. While soldiers all around me congratulated each other with hugs and slaps on the back and even broke into the occasional fit of silent tears, I looked around for a gap through the crowds and slipped back towards the gates of the castle itself, which had been bashed brutally open by magic and battering rams.

Someone reached out and grabbed my shoulder none too gently, clearly insulted by the fact that I hadn't joined the celebration. As I turned to find that my captor was the elder of the valkyrie twins, Luciana, she gave me an annoyed shake. "General Nessiah, where do you think you're going?"

I tried to shrug her off with little success. "I have a bad feeling," I informed her, trying to keep the worry from making my voice grate. "I think Gulcasa's been hurt. If that's so, we should be at the castle gates to receive him. It could be serious."

Luciana's cheeks colored, and her pale blue eyes flashed. "And what gives you _that _kind of impression about Gulcasa-nii?" she hissed defensively.

"Why would he take his dragon with him out to the parapets? It makes no sense. Not only that, but he mounted up before he went back inside. This is a Fantasinian castle. Their construction is nothing like the ones back in Bronquia; the stairs are a lot closer together and it's hard enough for dragons to walk down them alone, let alone with a rider. Besides, I… it's hard to explain, but I'm just sensitive to those kinds of things." My intuition was about average for a mage of my station, but then, _everything _I felt was stronger and clearer when it came to Gulcasa, even hunches like this one. I shook my head and tried to figure out how best to phrase my concern to Luciana without sounding haughty. "Look… I know you feel I'm usurping your position, and that to you and Aegina, I'm nothing but a highly unwelcome guest. But if I'm right and your brother really was wounded in there, we don't have time to do this right now. Please gather the other Dragon Generals and your sister, and hurry. Try not to let on to the men that something's wrong. They've just triumphed over the country that's oppressed them for generations… they should have time to take pride in their accomplishments without any worries."

Luciana sighed. "…Alright. You may be right. I'll find everyone. And if Gulcasa-nii is actually fine, you're going to hear it about this later." She turned and dashed off, finally letting go.

I shook my head after her and continued weaving my way through the crowd to the gate. Biting my lip, I focused my mage-sight to get a better view of the interior castle. Corpses of Fantasinian warriors lay strewn about the inner hall, which I knew from prior experience would eventually be gathered up and burned on a mass funeral pyre. I'd heard from my own soldiers that this had been a custom of Gulcasa's even during the coup d'état in which he'd initially taken the Imperial throne; it was a tribute to the enemy's honorable deaths. Even the hated Fantasinians seemed to deserve this much in Gulcasa's eyes.

It was that naïve, idealistic mindset that got him in trouble so often, I knew, but… it was still almost a breath of fresh air to fight alongside a monarch who refused to use underhanded tactics, and respected his enemy even through hate and the low, smoldering desire for vengeance.

And I also knew that my fascination with and attachment to Gulcasa and his virtually pure heart were going to get _me _in trouble if I didn't nip them in the bud very, very soon.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and continued to look around. Castle Paltina hadn't changed much since the last time I'd been here—almost two hundred years ago now—aside from the obvious blood and carnage. There were a few new paintings and tapestries adorning the walls, but other than that, it was all the same. The Fantasinian monarchy had always been very stable, changing only as much as necessary to suit the times. They owed their prosperity to the Gran Centurio—and the fact that their dominion over all the Pangaeaic countries was so complete that only Bronquia had ever dared challenge them for centuries.

Well, that had all changed now…

Footsteps behind me drew my attention back to the reason I was standing there, and I turned to find that I had been joined by Aegina and Luciana, as well as my fellow Dragon Generals Baldus, Emilia, and Leon.

"I don't see the point to all this," Leon informed the rest of us, yawning. "The Emperor's way too strong to get himself injured in a battle like this, no matter who his opponent was."

"You be quiet," Emilia snapped at him. "Nessiah's right. I've got a really bad feeling about this. Something's definitely wrong."

I turned as I sensed another approaching presence, and realized with a rush of relief that it was Gulcasa and his two faithful bodyguards, all mounted on their dragons.

My heart about stopped as soon as they got close enough for me to see the reason they'd taken so long.

Gulcasa was hunched over in the saddle, gripping his dragon's reins tightly and visibly trying to control his breathing. His eyes were glazed with pain, his face was the next shade to white and so coated in sweat that strands of his red hair were plastered across his forehead and cheeks, and blood was running steadily from the corner of his mouth. Not only that, but there was a wide rent in the thin armor that covered his torso, from which more blood was streaming—all down his side and onto his dragon's flank, forming puddles around the cobbled road as he and his guards advanced.

"Oh my God," Aegina breathed, clearly horrified. I almost wanted to call upon the gods who'd forsaken me long ago along with her—that was a _puncture wound. _If it didn't get treated right away, Gulcasa would clearly be in danger of death by blood loss.

As Gulcasa and his guards approached, the girls all ran to him in one terrified rush; I had to fight not to tear off with them. As one of the guards warned them to stay back in case their advances hurt their brother further, I approached the other, trying to conceal the shaking of my hands by clenching them. "What happened?" I asked, completely unable to control the anxiety in my voice.

"While we dealt with the castle guards, His Majesty went on to confront the king by himself in a one-on-one battle," the dragon knight replied, reaching over to soothe Gulcasa's mount, which was kept trying to twist around to look up at Gulcasa for reassurance. "Even when we were through, he didn't let us interfere. The king ran him through towards the end of their battle… His Majesty used the leverage to attack at close quarters."

I forced myself not to turn around and rail at Gulcasa for trying to play the hero. It was his own damn fault he was like this, and if he kept it up, one day he was going to end up getting himself killed! Instead, I carefully steered myself back to business. "What about the queen?"

The guard shook his head. "She and her troops committed mass suicide when the king was felled. Neither the King's Own or Queen's Own survived."

I sighed. "Good, good."

Gulcasa coughed and waved his sisters away, raising his head painfully to look at the rest of us. "The, the…" He coughed again, but steadied himself and continued. "The princess and… three cavalry units escaped… through a back entrance to the castle. The girl… has the Gran Centurio. Ordene gave it to her… when I reached them… if he'd had it when we fought… I wouldn't have survived. They… ugh. They were heading south." He paused to breathe, and curled in the saddle, coughing into his hand. I was close enough that I wasn't fooled by his attempt to hide it—blood was seeping through his fingers. The trauma he'd suffered had ruptured some artery in his lungs, and he needed treatment right away. Impatiently, Gulcasa wiped the blood from his face with the back of his gauntlet. "Leon. As of now… Zilva and Eudy's units are under your command. Find the cavalry and the princess. I… want them eradicated. Spare only… those who ask to be saved. Are my orders clear?"

"Yes, sir," Leon said sharply. "Moving out immediately."

He turned his horse and headed off to find the rest of his cavalry.

"Your Majesty, you need to rest," Baldus said, worried but still reproachful. "And our men do not need to see you in this state. I'll address them while you're with the doctors."

"Good. See to it… that they get some relaxation," Gulcasa agreed with a weak nod. "They fought… a hard battle… and they did Bronquia proud."

"Don't talk, Gulcasa-nii," Luciana begged him. "Aegina, Emilia, we have to find the doctors right away. Let's go."

And the three of them were off. Baldus bowed deeply to his Emperor and left as well, leaving me alone with the three dragon knights.

Words bubbled up in my chest, confused and tangled and choking. I could barely get any of them out. "Gulcasa… you… you have _got _to stop taking all these imbecilic risks. Even though you fought your hardest, because you fought _alone _against an opponent who was clearly beyond even _your _skill level, you almost got killed! The only reason you won was because you got _lucky! _So you…!"

"Enough, Nessiah…" Gulcasa closed his eyes and slumped in the saddle, clearly drained. "I know. I _know _all that. I'm… so tired. I can't deal with this right now. You're… mad, and you have… every right to be. Just… tell me later."

"No, that's not…!" I started, but was interrupted by the arrival of Gulcasa's sisters, along with one of the army healers and his apprentice. Gulcasa's bodyguards shepherded him back with them towards one of the tents that could be spared.

I was left standing by myself, tormented and frustrated.

I had survived up until now, kept myself sane through all these years of treachery, deceit, and nearly unbearable loneliness, by closing my heart against everyone around me. I'd worked and groveled and wormed my way to the ear of monarch after monarch in Fantasinia, keeping the only flame of hope left to me—the distant promise of vengeance—closely guarded to my shattered soul. No one had ever cared before. No one had allowed me close to them before. I had always been vaguely suspect, a distant and somewhat sinister figure wrapped in robes, shawls, and chains, urging generation after generation along the road to supremacy… and ruin.

But that day, when I'd been heading back to the coast to die…

It was no good anymore. The façade of uncaring couldn't hold any longer. Gulcasa had saved my life, and Bronquia had taken me in unquestioningly, sheltered me through my long weakness, accepted me unconditionally. I belonged to something again, for the first time in longer than bore thinking about. And kinship I thought I'd never share again… worse, feelings I'd never wanted to foster for anyone… had torn my heart open again.

Everything I'd thought I was had begun falling apart, and I couldn't salvage the pieces.

All I could focus on—all I could think—was about what was now most important to me…

"Ah… General Nessiah?"

I flinched and whirled around to face one of Gulcasa's bodyguards, who had approached while I'd been lost in thought and was looking at me with a distinctly uncomfortable expression.

"Yes… what is it?"

"It's, ah, about His Majesty…"

My heart lurched in my chest. "No… don't tell me there are complications with his injuries…?"

"Well, no… not _exactly, _no…"

I shook my head warily, beginning to suspect what he was here to tell me. "…Is Gulcasa being difficult…?"

The guard sighed and shook his head. "His Majesty says that because of the number of wounded we have, the doctors can't afford to waste their medicine on him… he won't let them sedate him to treat him, but he's already in too much pain to let them suture his back…"

I groaned aloud. "Let me guess—I'm the only one available who can make him see reason?"

"I apologize, sir… General Baldus is still busy with the troops, and you really are…"

I shook my head. "No—I'm sorry. That's not what I meant to imply. It's just that while Gulcasa is almost a legal adult in Bronquia—and already one here in Fantasinia—he lets his ideals get the better of him far too often. Having to chase after him as if I'm his mother is _exhausting. _I wish he'd grow up a little so I could stop worrying about him…"

"Then I must apologize to you again, sir," the knight said, bowing his head. "I… don't mean any offense, but because of your… condition, sometimes it's difficult to understand the exact connotation of your words…"

I smiled at the man, understanding completely. "It's alright. Even if I wasn't wearing these…" I raised my arm to indicate the chains locked into the ensorcelled plating covering the upper half of my face "…I'm still blind, and a large part of human expression comes from the eyes. I don't mind hearing it said. I miss being able to see the world with my own eyes, rather than magic… but I've gotten used to the fact that I never will again."

"General Nessiah…" Gulcasa's bodyguard nodded. "Come this way. His Majesty will listen to you, and we have to act quickly."

I followed the man to the healer's tent, where his companion hovered worriedly outside. The two of them nodded to each other and pulled back the flap for me.

What I found when I stepped through was not a welcome scene. Gulcasa sat on the edge of the cot the healer and his apprentice had set up, stripped of his armor and the shirt he'd worn underneath it, and as the healer stood a short distance away with a worried expression and a filled syringe still in his hand, his young apprentice sat next to the Emperor of Bronquia with a suturing hook already threaded and ready for stitching in her hand. As I stood there, she gently touched Gulcasa's back near his wound to steady him, but before she could do any more, he flinched away with a stifled cry of pain, gritting his teeth and clutching the sheets he sat on so tightly that his knuckles were white.

Furious—and terrified for his sake—I marched over to him, opened the Revelation of the Gods, and nodded to the healer's apprentice to back off. As Gulcasa looked up at me, confused, I put my left hand on his forehead, resting the heel of my hand between his eyes and pushing his hair back as I felt the jewel at the center of his circlet bite into my palm. At the same time, I ran my hand along the page I'd opened my spellbook to until I found the exact incantation I was looking for.

"What are you—" Gulcasa started to ask, weak but indignant.

"Look, Gulcasa," I snapped, interrupting him before he could start on a tirade, "you have got two options: Either you settle down and let this doctor sedate you, or I am going to knock you out right now. The results will be the same, so I don't care which you choose. These two clearly cannot treat you unless you're given strong painkillers or you're unconscious, and I don't _care _if you want to tough it out—I am _not _going to let you die of stubbornness. We—_I _need you to get through this. Even though we just beat Fantasinia, Bronquia _will not survive _without you. Be strong, and take the injection. They'll be done before you know it."

"…Nessiah…"

"You've been through enough pain today. Just take the damn shot."

Gulcasa sighed and closed his eyes in surrender. Inwardly relieved, I pulled my hand away.

"Thank you, General," the healer said, giving me a smile. As I closed the Revelation of the Gods and stepped away, he moved in, swiftly and efficiently pulled a cord around Gulcasa's upper arm to make a vein stand out in his arm, and injected the sedative. Gulcasa flinched once, but didn't give any other protest. As the syringe emptied, his eyes half-closed and glazed sightlessly, and he slid limply against the cot.

I sighed, feeling the tension drain from my body. If he'd kept being stubborn… well, I wouldn't have hesitated in hitting him with the strongest sleep spell in my repertoire, but that might have had adverse affects he wouldn't have been able to take in his condition.

"One more thing, General…" the healer told me, pulling on gloves. "If you wouldn't mind, we need someone to hold him still. He's barely conscious, but the operation could still cause minor convulsions, and if he doesn't remain stationary there's a risk that we could hurt him further."

"Right." I nodded and sat down on the cot, resettling Gulcasa so that his head and shoulders lay sprawled across my lap.

The healer turned to his apprentice. "Okay, Angie, pass me some antiseptic, and we'll get started. You and I need to get this done as quickly and cleanly as possible…"

I tuned the two of them out and looked down at Gulcasa, unable to help a sad smile as my chest tightened.

I'd never wanted to feel like this again. Not about anyone. For someone like me, it could only ever end in pain.

Even so, I ran my fingers through his wild hair, tucking it back behind his ears and pulling it away from his still-clammy brow.

"You idiot," I told him softly. "Stop doing things like this… you're only making me worry that much more about you."

I didn't know whether or not he heard or understood me, but then, it didn't matter. I think… in a way, he already knew what I was trying to say.

**Owari.**


End file.
